


rain is always gonna come (if you're standing with me)

by birdii (birdmint)



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26229967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdmint/pseuds/birdii
Summary: Yubin was finally getting the chance to pursue her dream of being an idol. But the flowers growing in her skin reminded her that becoming an idol meant leaving her best friend and first love Yoohyeon behind. 2yoo au
Relationships: Kim Yoohyeon/Lee Yoobin | Dami
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18
Collections: DreamCatcher Taylor Swift Ficfest 2k20





	rain is always gonna come (if you're standing with me)

**Author's Note:**

> this is for the dreamcatcher taylor swift ficfest run by @radicalmomocist with the prompt 'peace'
> 
> tw: mild body horror [no blood or gore tho, just a heads up in case]
> 
> this is my first longer dreamcatcher work, so i'd love and appreciate any and all feedback re characterization. thanks <3

“Yubin!” Yoohyeon called, pumping her legs vigorously to make her swing go even higher. “I’m beating you!”

Yubin didn’t respond, instead forcing her legs to move even faster. She was at a permanent disadvantage, being smaller with shorter legs, but honestly, she wasn’t sure why she was indulging Yoohyeon at all. Yet, it was hard to do anything but when Yoohyeon smiled her contagious, sparkling grin. There were many things Yubin would find herself doing under its influence (and many things she would stop BOTH of them from doing since she seemed to be in charge of common sense between the two of them).

“I’m going to jump!” Yoohyeon said, and Yubin watched with dread as, with one last push, Yoohyeon flew from her swing. She traced a long arc against the pink sky, landing with a heavy thud. With little thought, Yubin followed her. It was the fastest way to leave her swing.

She imagined her exit was far less graceful. Mostly she just saw a dizzying view of mulch and grass whizzing past before she fell on her side, rolling through the weeds to stop a few feet in front of Yoohyeon.

“I won!” Yoohyeon leapt to her feet, and Yubin could’ve sighed in relief. The taller girl was so clumsy and so breakable with her long limbs. She could’ve broken an arm, or gotten gouged by the mulch, or—

“Are you alright?”

“What?”

“Your arm’s bleeding.” Yoohyeon bent down, swiping at an upwelling of blood on Yubin’s upper arm. She scrunched her nose before wiping it off on the grass. “Bet you landed on a stick or a rock.”

Yubin sighed. “You could’ve gotten really hurt. We’re not kids anymore.”

“We’re only 17. That’s not _old_.”

“Hmm…” Now that she wasn’t worried about her friend, Yubin could feel her heart beat faster in her ears, the rise of a flush from the exhilaration of soaring through the air. Maybe that was why she always ended up going along with Yoohyeon’s ideas in the end.

She flopped backwards, laying back on the grass to look up at the sunset stained sky. She heard Yoohyeon follow her lead, plopping down with more enthusiasm than grace. Yubin pulled in her arm to give her more room.

“So, when do you become a pop star?”

“Dunno.” She had been told her stage name already, and she held ‘ _Dami_ ’ close to her heart as something fragile, too precarious to share. “We’re practicing a lot more these days.”

“I never get to see you anymore.” Yoohyeon turned with a pout, and Yubin struggled to meet her disappointed gaze.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t spend all your time watching streamers these days.”

“You’ve got your work and I’ve got mine.” Her tone was mock defensive, but she quickly dropped the stance for a laugh. “Wouldn’t be cool? You an idol, me a Youtuber? I’ll be just like PewDiePie.”

“ _Please_ don’t be like PewDiePie.”

“You _know_ what I mean!” Yoohyeon batted at Yubin’s arm but gave up quickly. Yubin could feel the heat of Yoohyeon’s arm almost touching her own, the proximity causing a familiar fluttering feeling and accompanying jolt of pain in her legs. She never got used to it, regardless of how long it’d been since she’d fallen in love with her best friend.

For a moment, they lay in silence, clouds drifting slowly overhead. Yubin felt Yoohyeon find her hand and interlace their fingers, palm still warm and sticky from their swing exertions earlier. It was nice against Yubin’s already cold skin.

“I might debut soon,” she dared. “For real.”

Yoohyeon immediately pulled her hand back to sit up with a gasp. “For real? Oh my god, you’ll get to meet Taeyeon!”

“Yep. That’s what I’m looking forward to the most.” The sarcasm slid off Yoohyeon easily.

“Do you know your debut song already? Can you tell me your concept?”

Yubin raised an eyebrow at Yoohyeon hovering over her, eyes wide. “I’m not allowed to say anything even if I knew. You can’t tell me you can keep it a secret.”

“I mean…”

“I’ll have to delete all my accounts soon.”

“It’s not like you even use them,” Yoohyeon protested. “Can’t you just go on private? How am I supposed to message you if you don’t have twitter? Where am I gonna get all my SNSD updates?”

“Like you care about SNSD, you Wonderful.” Yubin rolled her eyes.

“Aren’t you supposed to call them sunbaenim now?” Yoohyeon inhaled deeply, looking like she was going to burst with excitement, even more enthusiastic than Yubin herself. Maybe it was because Yoohyeon had always had confidence that Yubin’s training would pay off in a way she herself couldn’t fully believe. Even now, she wondered if it was too unrealistic to expect to be able to succeed as an idol.

“I might have to give up my cell phone too,” she mused. “SM doesn’t let their idols have phones. I think Happyface doesn’t either…”

“Then you _have_ to keep your twitter! Then you can go to a PC bang and get online to message me.”

“Will I have time…?” Yoohyeon was still leaning over her, and Yubin brushed away the dangling strands of hair that were threatening to tickle her face. The motion seemed to snap Yoohyeon out of the stare she’d fallen into, gaze at some point beyond Yubin’s head.

“I’m so excited for you. I always knew that—”

“I’ll miss you.” Yubin wasn’t sure where the words came from, emerging from her mouth without permission as she looked at Yoohyeon’s bright expression. It hurt to see the way her words made Yoohyeon’s smile immediately crumble on the edges, her worries just as close to the surface as Yubin’s own.

“You’ll always be my best friend though.”

Yubin could see Yoohyeon’s eyes getting glassy, and she reached up to run the pad of her thumb under Yoohyeon’s eyes. “Don’t cry. Don’t cry on me. You’re going to literally cry on my face.”

“St- _stop_ it.” But Yoohyeon was laughing as she leaned back to rub at her eyes. “I mean it though. Even when you become a super famous idol and I never get to see you because you’ll always be so _busy_ and touring and performing, you’ll always be my best friend.”

Yubin couldn’t find it in herself to respond again, settling for pushing herself upright to drape an arm over Yoohyeon’s shoulders. Thankfully, Yoohyeon was fluent in Yubin’s ways of communicating, and patted the hand on her shoulder and let her turn the conversation to lighter topics.

They finally parted when it was dark, far past both of their curfews. Yoohyeon kept trying to prod for more information while Yubin steadfastly deflected. She finally promised to keep her twitter, getting a hug in return. Her feet and ankles ached throughout it all, and she had to keep stopping herself from reaching down to massage the pain away. She hobbled home slowly while responding to Yoohyeon’s continued texts, the other girl’s tone now unadulterated excitement.

It would be good, it was _good_. Finally, her dream was in reach after years of work.

She didn’t get scolded when she arrived home, just a reminder to text her schedule ahead of time since her parents were used to her staying out late to practice. It was a blessing since all she wanted was to go upstairs to her room and rest. She hoped she hadn’t gotten Yoohyeon in trouble for staying out past dark.

Sitting down at her desk, she pulled off her socks and rolled up the legs of her sweatpants, propping one foot up. Beneath the surface of her skin, small sprouts were pushing upwards from her feet, the delicate green just visible while their roots wrapped alongside her veins around the bottoms of her feet. If she ran her hands over her ankles, she could feel the ridges of where new, fragile leaves were beginning to flourish. If she dared, perfect shoots of some still unknown flower could be extracted. While the surgery wasn’t particularly uncommon, it came with the potential of nerve damage and mandatory time off one’s feet during the recovery period. Yubin couldn’t afford risking the former and didn’t have time for the latter.

After her evening with Yoohyeon, she found new buds forming, the source of her aches for the day. Popping pain pills from the bottle that now lived on her desk, she slowly, meticulously massaged the skin where the plants made their home. At first, the feeling of something under her skin had been sickening beneath her fingers, but by this point, the sheer relief from her self-massage won out over the distasteful sensation. The plants had begun to grow in earnest in the past year, and Yubin had become accustomed to the aching.

She hoped that the growth would slow down when she and Yoohyeon had less time to spend together, the one upside she could see of their separation. Full bloom seemed too painful for her to endure, as well as too difficult to hide. But the sprouts were the product of her feelings. Just as it was hard to imagine being parted from her best friend, it was hard to imagine life without the small sprigs of green growing within her.

It was only a week later that she and the other 5 girls were pulled to debut as ‘Dreamcatcher’. She dutifully deleted all of her social media accounts, except the promised twitter handle that she unfollowed everyone except Yoohyeon on and locked down. Her phone was handed off to her manager as expected, and she packed up her essentials to move into the dorm that would be her new home for the indeterminate future.

Before she left, she spent a melancholic afternoon with Yoohyeon, grabbing noodles at their usual haunt before walking out to the same park they had always hung out at. The air was already chilly, a far cry from the almost balmy remains of summer the last time they met. She was grateful for the warm noodles in her cold hands.

It was hard to know what to say; both nothing and everything had changed all at once. Yubin ate her udon while fending off Yoohyeon’s weak attempts to steal her fish cakes which she ended up dropping in the other girl’s ramyeon anyways. Yoohyeon told her about her school day, which only reminded her that, since they weren’t in the same class this year, she wouldn’t even get that chance to see Yoohyeon as they wrapped up their senior year. She told Yoohyeon that she’d kept her twitter, and _that_ reminded her why she needed it. Even Yoohyeon’s smile was tight at the edges, despite her attempts to keep the mood light.

“I can’t believe you’re finally doing it,” Yoohyeon kept saying over and over, and Yubin wasn’t sure how to respond to the equal feelings of elation and despair it evoked. “When can you be back to visit?”

“I don’t know. But you’ll hear from me when I’m free.”

“Promise?”

“Of course.” But she wrapped her pinky around the one Yoohyeon offered, a thin smile stretching across her lips despite herself. “As soon as I can. I just don’t know when that’ll be.”

“As long as it’s _some_ time.” Yubin didn’t get any warning before she found Yoohyeon draped over her shoulders in a hug, face pressed in against her neck.

“You’re going to spill the broth!” But Yoohyeon paid her no mind, and she fumbled the bowl to a spot in the grass before returning the embrace.

The other girl was taller, but Yubin always managed to find a way to enclose her in her arms. Yoohyeon had let her weight lean in now that the udon leftovers were gone, practically sitting in Yubin’s lap. It was bittersweet, the feeling of being pressed warmly chest to chest, her hands stretched wide across Yoohyeon’s back while Yoohyeon’s cold cheek was now squished against the side of Yubin’s head. She ignored the renewed aching to stay in the moment just that much longer, Yoohyeon seeming more than content to not move.

Eventually she had to pull away, and she felt cold again. “I have an early day tomorrow.”

“You’re gonna be great, and when you debut, I’ll buy as many albums when I can.”

“I… Thanks.”

“C’mon, you gotta get rest if you’re gonna move tomorrow.” Yoohyeon stood up, helping Yubin to her feet. “Are your new roommates nice?”

Yubin thought about the girls she’d been working with for the past couple of years, a whole circle she hadn’t been able to tell Yoohyeon much about just in case this very situation came to pass. It had been strange, to keep so much from Yoohyeon for so long. “Yeah… I don’t know what kind of roommates they’ll be, but they’re nice.”

“Good. Someone’s gotta take care of you—”

“I’m not even the maknae! And I take care of _you--_ ”

They bickered the entire way out of the park, the familiar rhythm soothing up until the moment they had to part.

“Yubin, fighting!” Yoohyeon called out. For a moment she paused, wanting to take in the moment. Warm air, Yoohyeon’s smile, the cozy familiarity.

“I’ll see you soon.” Yoohyeon didn’t call her out on the lie, simply nodded and waved as they turned to head to their respective homes. Yubin’s feet grew heavier with each step away she took.

She settled into her room with Bora and Siyeon easily enough. Both of them were considerate roommates, even if Bora had the tendency to grumble about cleaning and her waking up too early. At first it was like a sleepover. Even after the first few days, it was convenient to just pile into a company van to take them all back to the dorm at once instead of figuring out how to get home late at night. There were also plenty of days of eating pre-prepared food she rarely ate normally since cooking wasn’t one of her strong suits and her parents weren’t there to have set aside dinner for her.

But it wasn’t long before she began to miss her parents. And Yoohyeon. She’d go home on her break day and spend the precious time with her family, then borrow their computer to catch up on social media quickly just before heading back to the dorm.

There wasn’t much to read since she hadn’t kept her accounts. Mainly, she pulled up the twitter account, finding links and pictures of Pie in her DMs, while her email usually contained a few brief letters from Yoohyeon every week.

_Yubin-ah!!_

_I’m so sick of studying TT Mom still wants me to go to a good college next year which means I have to DO WELL!! I don’t have time to work on any of my videos D: <_

_Do you even have to take the CSAT? TT Luckyy_

_Wish me luckkkkkkkk!! I might die before I even take the test_ o（ｉДｉ）o

_Yubin!_

_Can you lend me your math skills? You don’t need them right now, right? I’m going to fail the math section without you TT___TT_

_Think, if we combined MY English knowledge and your math brain, we’d ace like… a third of the sections orz Do you think I actually NEED to go to college?_

_I’m sure you’re working hard too! I miss you TT Stay healthy! Fighting!!_

_OMG I’M DONE IT’S OVER (_ _✼ X_ _̥̥̥_ _‸ X_ _̥̥̥)_

_I’M GOING TO SLEEP FOR 5 YEARS._

_IF I DON’T WAKE UP TO YOU DOING A FULL WORLD TOUR I WILL BE SO MAD!!_

_Please pray for a good score for me or mom is going to be angry with me TT_

_p.s. thank you for the coffee TT^TT <3 <3_

She could imagine the mess Yoohyeon had been leading up to the college entrance exam. Her emails were joking, lighthearted. But she knew that, even if Yoohyeon wasn’t entirely set on getting a degree, her perfectionist friend would’ve been studying frantically. She hoped Yoohyeon had remembered to eat and sleep.

In another world, she would’ve been right alongside her, both of them working on the floor of one of their rooms after returning from cram school while their parents delivered food and snacks to keep them going. She would’ve been waiting that morning with Yoohyeon and the rest of their friends, heart pounding with nerves while Yoohyeon frantically recited equations or lists of historic dates next to her. And afterwards, they would’ve stopped for a celebratory snack, eating ramyeon or bread alongside the river.

But instead, these days she showed up at school, perhaps turned in a homework if she had had time to finish it, then left the moment they were dismissed. She mostly continued to attend class since she already lived in Seoul and it wasn’t too long a walk from school to the dorm or the company. On the day of the exam, she’d managed to ask her mom to drop off a coffee for Yoohyeon. It was the most support she could give to her friend since she had gone to the company to get in more practice rather than sitting the test.

_Dami-yah~~_

_I found a recording of your group on Youtube!! I can’t believe you didn’t send me a link TT I was at work (I got a job!!!) or else I could’ve come. TT Will you do more of these before debut? Tell meee TT_

_And OMG have I ever seen you in makeup before? You looked so pretty TT And I didn’t realize you could rap like that? Or dance so well? I’m so impressed and proud of you!! You never TOLD me what you were doing TT____TT As expected, you’ve worked so hard TT_

_Also, all of your members are gorgeous TT What’s it like to work with a whole group of pretty girls every day? Isn’t it scary?_

_I can’t wait to see your official debut!! I hope it’s soon because I’m getting really impatient D: <_

_\--Dami’s #1 fan, Yoohyeonnie <3~~_

…There was a recording? It took her a bit, but eventually she managed to find a few videos of their busking event. Most were taken on shakily held cellphones, but there was one taken with a good quality camera. It looked like a legitimate fansite recording, which was surreal. She’d spent so much of the past years watching fancams of SNSD imagining what it would be like standing on stage like them. And here was a taste of that life.

They’d recorded themselves plenty of times in the practice room to monitor their dance, but it was the first time she’d seen their performance with full makeup and styling. It looked like something _real_ , not just the six of them yelling out counts, making up goofy names for dance moves, and collapsing together in front of the mirror, red faced and sweaty after a full run. They actually looked like _idols_.

For the cover dance, they’d kept a more conventional styling. They had been put in short skirts with flowing hair, even if there was a bit more leather to hint at the direction their group would go for debut. She’d expected that if she ever managed to become an idol, she would end up having to do a cute or sexy concept. While she didn’t feel particularly at home in either, she’d promised herself she’d fill the role as best she could. Thankfully, their concept seemed to be going a different direction entirely, but in the fancam, she could see what a cuter style looked like on her.

For the performance, her hair had been swept up into a high ponytail with added extensions, curled to look glamorous spilling over her shoulders. Her makeup included sparkling lenses and bright pink lipstick to give her a youthful glowing appearance. It all made her look delicate and petite in a way she never felt normally, slouching around in sneakers and oversized t-shirts. If she were being honest, she could barely recognize herself.

Yoohyeon said she looked pretty. Yubin wondered if Yoohyeon liked this version of her better, made up like a doll.

_i didn’t even know there was a recording of us online. i can’t check anything during the week, remember? seeing all of us on camera is so weird. it doesn’t even look real._

_i hope your exam went well and you were able to show everything you studied. make sure to eat well and get enough sleep now that it’s over! let me know when you receive your results._

_what job did you get? i didn’t think your mom would let you work until you graduated… did she change her mind? please say hi to them for me. and pie of course. i’d say give her a treat from me too, but i’m sure you’ve already given her too many. take care of both of your health!!_

_take care, and don’t work too hard!!_

_x_

She looked over her email with a frown. She only got to send one a week, and it never seemed like she managed to convey all she wanted to say. Being forced to type out her thoughts straightforwardly and not being able to rely on a touch or even a smile to express herself made her feel like she'd lost her voice. When she sat staring at her email blankly, it made her envious of her unnies who seemed to be able to say what was in their heart with sincerity and ease. She'd thought communicating only online wouldn't be much of a burden since she was used to texting and twitter and instagram, and a score of other apps she'd had on her phone to keep in touch. But the distance between her and all of her friends felt longer each week.

_p.s. i'm waiting for youtuber yoohyeon-ah to return. don't be on hiatus much longer, okay?!~~_

It was almost time to go, so she gave up and sent the email as is. It was good practice, right? She needed to get better at communicating even with people far away and being able to show her earnest feelings...right?

She needed much more practice, perhaps.

In the few moments she had left before she would need to say her goodbyes for the week, she pulled up Yoohyeon's YouTube channel. ✰yoohyeonnie's good day!!✰ read the banner in English across the top. The page already had 10 videos uploaded, although none since September when Yoohyeon had likely stopped to focus on studying. There was a wide variety of content already, from makeup tutorials, to an upload of gameplay, to a visit to a cat cafe that consisted mostly of Yoohyeon being too afraid to do more than get footage of the cats from far away. Each video had a thumbnail of Yoohyeon grinning broadly.

As expected, there was nothing new. Everything had been uploaded when Yubin still had access to her phone. It felt like so long ago.

"It's almost time to go." Her mom entered the room, peering over her shoulder to see the screen. "Ah… It's been so long since we've seen Yoohyeonnie, hasn't it? Maybe we can have them over for dinner one weekend. Pie and Toto could have a play date."

"That'd be great." She closed the browser window with a sigh. Her mom placed a hand on her shoulder, giving it a squeeze at the sound.

"Come say bye to Toto before you go. He misses you every day."

"Same." With a last look of regret at the screen, she turned off the monitor and let her mom pull her out of the room.

Yubin had always been a hard worker. She wasn’t sure if she had enough talent, or training, or charisma to be an idol, but the one thing she could rely on was that if putting more effort in would get her results, then she didn’t doubt she’d get them.

Her work ethic was one of the few things that was pulling her through the week. They had put together the studio recording of ‘Chase Me’ the previous week, and even then they had been concerned by the fast tempo. It was demanding on their voices, let alone choreography wise. She was tired soon after each day’s practice started, and ended each day not knowing where her aches ended.

Everyone else had filtered out of the practice room to get their bags or water, so she’d taken the precious moment to sit down and massage her legs. Her skin pulled tight over the sprouts, causing both pain and itchiness with the extra blood flow trying to repair the damage of the day. But she’d be able to go home and prop her legs up soon enough. That was, after waiting for the unnies to take a shower, and finding food, and…

“Yubin? We’re heading o—” Yubin didn’t have time to react when Bora flung open the door of the practice room, her legs on full display. She could tell that there was no way to make excuses; the older girl’s face pulled back in a grimace as she stared.

“Is that…?” But she didn’t seem to expect an answer, quickly kneeling down next to Yubin. Her hand reached out, but she dropped it before she made contact. “That looks like it hurts.”

Her expression hadn’t cleared, eyebrows furrowed with concern, which made Yubin worry. As loud as Bora was, she was also one of the more practical of the girls, not prone to overreacting on important matters. She followed the other girl’s gaze to her calves, hands still instinctively spread over as much of her skin as she could manage. By now, she was inured to the sight, but the slender plants had started to grow into thicker stems over the past month and it wasn’t particularly pleasant to look at.

“It’s fine,” she said, finally coming to her senses enough to cover her legs again and stand up.

Bora didn’t follow her, expression still grim. “How long…?” She seemed to rethink her question as she watched Yubin’s face, shaking her head as she got to her feet as well. “Do you need ice?”

“I have ice packs at home.”

“What about pain pills? Do you want some?”

Yubin shook her head. “I already have some.” As the initial shock of being discovered wore off without Bora immediately judging her—in fact being so _kind_ about the situation-- she mostly found herself growing more and more weary.

“You know,” and Yubin could hear even the minimal lightness in her voice leaving, “Why haven’t you gotten them removed? You know the surgery doesn’t—”

“Unnies?” Gahyeon’s loud shout as she ducked her head into the practice room startled them both. “Why are you still here? It’s time to go _home_!” But Gahyeon was young, not stupid, and her eyes flickered between the two of them with a frown after taking in the serious atmosphere. “What’s going on?”

“It’s nothing,” Yubin said, taking the opportunity to make her escape. “I’ve gotta get my bag.”

She could hear Gahyeon asking Bora again, and she could only pray Bora would respect her privacy.

She got into one of the vans, theirs consisting of Yubin, Handong, and Gahyeon as the “maknae” van, with Minji, Bora, and Siyeon in the “unnie” van. Gahyeon’s eyes followed her as she pushed her way into the back, but didn’t say anything, for which Yubin was grateful. It was hard to know which Gahyeon she was going to encounter some days—clever fox Gahyeon, or their loud, impulsive maknae.

With the van assignments steady so far, she had gotten to know their two newest members over time. As the previous maknae, she’d been booted from the main van to join them. It wasn’t as though she didn’t _like_ them—she admired Handong’s determination to succeed in a foreign country and Gahyeon’s drive to take her short training period and match her sunbaes who had been training for double and triple her time. But without the louder unnies, it was just shy, quiet Yubin responsible for taking care of them, a responsibility she felt ill prepared for.

It was a blessing that Gahyeon was loud and bold, happy enough to take a situation and turn it to her advantage whether it was with a cute smile or careful maneuvering. Yubin hadn’t been sure she’d have much in common, but she found their maknae fiercely intelligent and practical alongside her youthful brightness. She could be relied on to put together a situation quickly, which was unfortunately to Yubin’s disadvantage today.

Handong, on the other hand, radiated an elegant chic vibe. It was easy to underestimate Dong unnie who liked to gaze quietly out at the passing landscape or would give Yubin a cute wide-eyed expression as she tried to piece together new or too quick Korean phrases. But it was always exactly at that moment that she would catch Yubin off guard with a clever joke or barb. Yubin was certain that, even with the language barrier, Handong always knew more than she let on.

Helping Handong out with Korean also fell to her, which she felt particularly underqualified for. The only Mandarin she knew was “ _xie xie_ ” and “ _wo ai ni_ ”. It made her think of Yoohyeon, who was learning Mandarin and would be thrilled to practice with a native speaker. She’d probably be able to explain the subtle differences between the two languages’ grammars or pronunciation, or any one of the million questions that Yubin could only answer by giving the correct Korean sentence.

She wished Yoohyeon could be there.

Thankfully, she wasn’t the only one worn out by their practice today. Handong was silent in her seat, while she could hear Gahyeon’s soft snoring—she must’ve passed out the moment she sat down. Yubin was left alone with her worries.

Gahyeon did catch her as she left the van, a hand resting on the back of her elbow to get her attention. She’d considered herself clear a bit too soon. “Are you okay, unnie?”

There was no way to tell what Gahyeon meant from the broad question. “I’m fine,” she said, gently shaking Gahyeon’s hand from her elbow. “Make sure to eat something before bed, or you’ll wake up grumpy again.”

Gahyeon took the topic change, rolling her eyes. “I don’t think that’s how that works, but I’m _more_ than happy to get a snack.”

Handong rose an eyebrow when they caught up to her on the stairs to their dorm but didn’t say anything. Yubin counted it as enough of a win.

Bora found her again while she was waiting for her turn to shower, legs propped up against the wall to help with swelling. While she _could_ try to leave the conversation, it wasn’t like there was anywhere in the dorm she could escape to. At least now, with Siyeon in the shower and Minji making herself a late meal alongside Gahyeon, the two audibly chattering away in the kitchen, there was a chance no one else would overhear.

“Yubinnie…”

She didn’t bother replying, only patting her bed for Bora to take a seat.

“Why haven’t you gotten them removed?” Bora asked without preamble. “It doesn’t change the way you feel. That’s just a myth.”

“I know,” Yubin replied. She’d looked up the procedure often enough, wondering if she would have to give in and tell her parents. The idea that having the flowers removed would diminish your affection for the person who made them bloom was an old wives’ tale, said the articles she had pored over. It didn’t make the hollow feeling in her chest at the thought any less.

“Then why…? I can’t imagine what it feels like to dance like that.”

“There hasn’t been any time. The recovery period is too long, especially when we could’ve been pulled to debut at any time.” Yubin paused when Bora didn’t look convinced. “Imagine everyone preparing for debut while you’re stuck just watching, maybe unable to ever debut at all.”

At that, Bora grimaced. “Have you considered just… confessing?”

Yubin almost felt like laughing, like the idea wasn’t something she considered and tossed out on a regular basis. “We’re training to be idols. What good would it do? Even if… Well, we can’t date.”

And if she confessed and Yoohyeon didn’t reciprocate… This was the Yoohyeon who was afraid to pet cats because she might disturb them, who apologized to her camera when she fumbled it in her hands. If she didn’t love Yubin romantically, then she would feel bad about causing Yubin pain. Even in a world where the flowers didn’t exist, she could imagine Yoohyeon apologizing and fretting over Yubin’s feelings. She wouldn’t do that to her precious friend.

“Let’s debut first, then I’ll figure out a time to handle it.”

At that, Bora finally nodded. “If I can help, though, come talk to me, alright? I’ll help figuring things out if we need to, okay?”

Yubin smiled. “Thanks, unnie.”

“I think I heard Dongie leave the bathroom, so go get your shower,” Bora said as she stood up to leave the room.

“Thank goodness.”

“And take care of yourself, Yubin.” Bora glared at her, one hand on the door, but soon laughed when Yubin only shook her head and waved her out of the room.

Surprisingly, nothing much changed. Yubin wasn’t sure what she had expected to happen if someone had found out her secret. Mostly what did happen was that she noticed Bora keeping a closer eye on her, slight grimaces on her face when Yubin stumbled or tripped. But otherwise, there was no sign that Bora had spoken to anyone else. She still had her suspicions about Gahyeon, but as far as she could tell, there wasn’t much need for concern. She was able to continue preparing for debut without issue.

Unfortunately, her luck didn’t hold out forever. While she’d learned her lesson from Bora’s discovery, and habitually wore long socks these days so she wouldn’t slip up in the same way twice, Minji managed to wheedle the answer out of her on a bad pain day.

She could never quite predict what days would make her legs hurt more than others, but that day she hadn’t been able to keep herself from walking gingerly, wincing when her feet hit the ground. And of course, Minji had noticed, catching her during a break.

“Did you hurt your ankle?”

“No,” Yubin replied, trying her best to keep her annoyance out of her voice. She wasn’t particularly in the mood to field off questions.

“Look, if you dance on top of injuries, you’re only going to make it worse. You might even sideline yourself for more than a day. The girls will understand if you sit out.”

Minji’s expression was warm and sympathetic, an arm snaking over Yubin’s shoulders. For a moment, she wondered if she should take the out. But that would require a lot of lying about a fake injury when, theoretically, she was fine to dance.

“I’m not hurt. I’m _fine_.”

Minji scowled. “You can barely move between runs. I’ve been watching you tiptoe around all day. You look _miserable_.”

Internally, Yubin sighed. Once Minji dug her heels in as leader, it was hard to persuade her away from whatever it was. “I’m fine. I’m just tired today.”

“I’ve seen your ‘tired’, and this isn’t it.” The arm dropped from her shoulders as Minji moved away to catch Yubin’s eyes straight on. “If you won’t admit it, then I’ll have to ask you to sit out the rest of practice regardless.”

“That’s unnecessary.”

“Not if you are going to hurt yourself—”

Yubin really couldn’t see any other way to get Minji off her back. She pushed down one of her socks, this time letting herself sigh out loud when Minji gasped.

She looked down at the growth herself, pressing her lips together when she saw how inflamed her skin was. It looked about as it had felt all day. Since she’d given up her secret, she decided to take advantage of the situation and attempt to massage some of the swelling away.

“Who is it?” Unlike Bora, Minji didn’t hold back from asking the question. Unlike Bora, Minji’s expression was soft, receptive. It was why Yubin’s response had less bite that it might’ve otherwise had.

“Why is it important?”

“I just want to know who could make our Dami fall in love.” Her eyes were wide, hands clutched together on her knees as she leaned in towards Yubin.

She wondered if it would be okay to tell when she hadn’t dared to with Bora. She wondered if Minji’s expression would change, shutter closed unlike the kind, curious face she had on now.

The door opened before she’d decided and Handong walked in. It looked like she’d come for an entirely different reason, but at the sight of Yubin and Minji sitting on the floor, she wandered over to them.

Somehow, the other girl’s presence strengthened her resolve. By her count, if she ripped off the bandage now with Dongie present as well, then only Siyeon didn’t know what was going on. She would be working alongside these girls… her members… for hopefully a very long time. And she was tired of the secret. How long would she have to keep it otherwise?

She took a deep breath. “My best friend… Yoohyeon… We’ve known each other… forever.” She couldn’t even think of what else to say, overwhelmed by the possibilities. Before she’d only mentioned Yoohyeon in passing as “my friend” or even “my best friend”. What should she say? How she gave off the intense impression of a friendly puppy? How she seemed to breathe in foreign languages like air? How she had a voice as soothing as honey tea, or how warm her hand was in Yubin’s?

Before she could sort through her thoughts, Minji’s arms were slung around her neck in a very familiar manner, her cheek squishing against Yubin’s without hesitation. “Oh Yubinnie,” the older girl sighed. “That sounds so difficult.”

“It… is,” she managed to choke out through her tight throat. She looked up to Handong, who was looking on with a sympathetic expression. When she caught Yubin’s glance, she smiled, dropping a hand on Yubin’s head before joining them on the floor.

“Unnie, you’re choking her,” Handong pointed out.

“No I’m not,” Minji said, although she pulled back, a hand instinctively brushing Yubin’s hair back into place. Yubin could see Minji’s pout as she pushed stray strands away from Yubin’s face.

“Your best friend…?” Handong prompted, when Minji continued to fuss over Yubin. She’d forgotten that Handong had missed the entire context for the conversation

“I love her.”

It was surreal, how nothing changed after she said it out loud. Handong simply nodded, placing a hand on Yubin’s knee in comfort.

“I’m glad you told us.”

“I still haven’t told Siyeon unnie,” she grumbled. She hadn’t wanted to have any of these talks, let alone _three_.

“Oh, wait!” Minji shot up from the floor, skipping over to the door of the practice room and sticking her head out. “Siyeon! Siyeonnieeee!”

“Unnie!” Only Handong’s hand kept her from standing.

“Huh?” Siyeon looked around in confusion when she was pulled into the room by Minji, water bottle in one hand, a half-eaten banana in the other. She'd obviously been in the middle of her snack. Her face cleared when she spotted Yubin. “Are we allowed to know now?”

“I swear to god—” Bora stomped in behind her. “Could you try to be more tactful?”

“You told them?”

“We were _worried_ ,” Minji cut in quickly, before Yubin could get too upset with Bora. “It wasn’t hard to tell something was wrong.”

“Even Siyeon could tell,” Bora added.

“I resent your implication!”

“I was going to ask you what was going on myself,” Minji continued over the banter, “but Bora caught me first. She said you had a plan to take care of things, but everyone could see you were in pain.”

Yubin frowned. “So, what was with earlier, then? If everyone already knew?”

“I just wanted you to take a break today. Also, they thought maybe you’d actually let us know yourself if I pretended I didn’t know.” Minji turned back to pout at Siyeon and Bora who immediately started arguing that their plan had been successful in the end.

Handong tapped Yubin's knee, pulling her attention away from the fray. “I had nothing to do with them,” she whispered, leaning her head in towards Yubin’s.

The innocent look Handong gave her afterwards was too much on top of everything else and she couldn’t help but let out a snort of laughter. The sound managed to draw the other girls away from their argument.

“If we don’t know, we can’t help.” Simple, but Handong’s steady sincerity was comforting.

She caught Bora’s gaze, unwilling to drop the matter just yet. “I don’t appreciate you telling secrets I asked you to keep.”

The older girl stepped forward, expression now solemn. “I’m sorry, Yubin.”

“But please, trust us to want the best for you.” Minji clasped her hands together, crouching down in front of her. “I want all of us, as Dreamcatcher, to feel like we can trust each other and rely on each other.”

Bora nodded from behind Minji, and Yubin decided that it enough. She knew that, in the end, Bora only had good intentions. “Alright.”

At that, Minji’s face lit back up with its normal cheeriness. “So for today, I want you to monitor our formation and gestures, alright? No more dancing until tomorrow.” She didn't even wait for Yubin's confirmation before she stood back up, turning towards the door with a shout, “Break’s over!”

There was a faint response from Gahyeon from down the hall, and Siyeon shoved the rest of her banana in her mouth while Yubin prayed that she didn’t choke.

“I’ll carry you to the wall!” She looked up to see Bora standing over her with arms outstretched.

“Uhm, no. You’ll drop me.”

“I’m strong!” Bora pouted as Handong instead helped her up to hobble over to the mirror, but delivered Yubin’s water bottle and her bag to her side. Handong gave her one last thumbs up before finding her spot, and Yubin felt far better about her seat against the mirror, phone in hand ready to record.

Throughout the practice, each of the members made sure to shoot her a smile, even Gahyeon. Despite the emotionally wild day she’d had, she was grateful to have members who were ready to support her.

“Why did you come with me?” Siyeon asked as they walked to the PC bang. Minji had decided to let everyone leave early for the evening on the condition that they all returned to the dorm in time to get a full night’s rest for the next day’s practice. After the endless back to back late nights at the company, it was deeply appreciated.

The group had split up, though from the sound of things, most of the discussion had been regarding which food places to stop at. Yubin had managed to pair up with Siyeon with little fuss.

Siyeon was still thinking the matter over when Yubin didn’t respond immediately. “I mean, you don’t usually play games—” Yubin could see the moment it clicked, Siyeon’s mouth falling into a perfect ‘o’. “Oh, for _her_. Your Yoohyeon?”

It was still weird for other people to know, catching Yubin off guard every time the members brought it up. She simply nodded, and Siyeon’s face split into a wide grin. “Are you gonna talk to her?”

“No, she has work in the evenings.” Being able to talk in real time would be a luxury. “She has a YouTube channel, so I wanted to see if she’s posted anything new, and I’ll send an email.”

Siyeon was quiet for a moment. Yubin knew how sad it sounded but at this point, Siyeon already knew the worst of her feelings. She couldn’t dig herself a deeper hole if she tried. But then, Siyeon finally spoke— “Do you wanna show me one of her videos?”

She turned to look at the older girl, eyes wide in disbelief. But when the older girl simply smiled at her, Yubin finally responded, “Yeah. That’d be nice.”

They settled in, ordering snacks after much debate over what to get. Siyeon abandoned her computer after their food arrived, scooting her chair closer to Yubin’s.

“So, what’s new?”

Yubin logged into her secret account, one she’d made after deleting her main. It was mostly for leaving likes, or small comments. Even if she hadn’t told Yoohyeon the username, she knew how important the number of views, likes, and comments were. It was the least she could do. There was a notification on her home page—Yoohyeon had posted a new video since the last time she’d checked.

“She plays League?” Siyeon exclaimed when Yubin loaded the video up.

“She plays all kinds of games. I don’t really know them all, but League, yes. Overwatch too.”

“Damn, can I steal her?” Yubin just elbowed her in the arm before clicking play.

The two hours they’d paid for passed before she’d realized it. She hadn’t realized how good it would feel to share the person she cared about to someone who she had come to like and respect. Better yet, Siyeon seemed to enjoy herself as well, picking out videos for Yubin to play for them beyond the ‘one’ she’d originally committed to. Yubin had already seen them all, but she never minded re-watching, especially with the addition of Siyeon’s reactions.

Before they left, Yubin wrote a quick email and left a message on the latest video while Siyeon snapped a selfie of them for their official twitter.

“Is she going to try to do YouTube full time?” Siyeon asked as they left.

Yubin pulled her coat tighter around herself; the winter cold was harsh after the coziness of the PC bang. “She wants to. She does all the filming and editing herself.”

“Well it looks great. And she’s really fun to watch. I think she’ll do well.”

“Thanks for watching with me.” She meant it. Watching Siyeon smile and laugh with Yoohyeon’s videos gave her an easy happiness.

“Of course! They were really good. Honestly, I would’ve watched her videos on my own if I’d known--”

"Yubin-ah!" The familiar voice made her stop immediately. "Yubin!"

She only just managed to prepare herself for Yoohyeon running towards her for a hug, parka flapping behind her like a cape. She was too stunned to think of anything to say but "What are you doing here?"

"' _What are you doing here_?' I haven't seen you for three months and that's what you greet me with?" She punched Yubin on the arm, mock offense on her face. "My café is just over there,” she said, pointing behind her in the vague direction of any of the buildings lining the street. "What are _you_ doing here?"

The question brought her back to reality. She shook her head clear, pulling away from Yoohyeon’s embrace to make introductions. "Meet Siyeon unnie. Unnie, this is Yoohyeon." She saw the way Siyeon’s eyes widened for a moment before she schooled her expression back to neutral.

"It's nice to meet you," Siyeon greeted her before her face split into a grin. "Yubin showed me your vlogs!"

"What." Yoohyeon’s mouth fell open, eyes flickering back and forth between them before she buried her face in her hands. "That's so embarrassing."

"No no no," Siyeon was quick to reassure her, beating Yubin to the punch. "They were cute! Also, we need to talk about League. No one else plays, and I haven’t gotten to try out the new updates so you’ve gotta tell me everything."

Yubin pulled them both to the edge of the sidewalk so they wouldn't obstruct the path as the two hit it off almost immediately. She watched their animated conversation about the game, understanding next to nothing with all of the jargon being thrown around. But at one point, Yoohyeon's arm found its way around hers and it was nostalgic, like they were lingering in the schoolyard at the end of the day to chat with friends like old times.

She hated to break it up. "Minji unnie is going to scold us for being late."

"I bet she'd understand," Siyeon replied, but looked to Yubin with a pause. "I want a coffee before we head back. Do you want anything? Yoohyeon?"

Yubin shook her head as Yoohyeon replied with a 'no thanks'. She watched with a frown as Siyeon wandered off down the street.

"We're definitely going to get in trouble for staying out past curfew."

Yoohyeon puffed her cheeks in a pout. "Is it my fault? I'm sorry. I didn't think..."

Yubin waved off her concern. "It'll be alright. We might just have to pick up some extra chores. Bora unnie will appreciate the help at least."

"If you say so..." she said, although the furrow in her eyebrows remained. "Did I just meet one of your members?"

Yubin nodded. "Our main vocal."

Yoohyeon looked behind Yubin, as thought she might catch sight of Siyeon. "She's so pretty, isn't she?"

Yubin didn’t even wince as she joked, "You're going to hurt my ego. I'm right here."

"Your ego is untouchable." She punctuated it with a hip check, which was less effective with Yoohyeon's arm still tucked in Yubin's. "Her face is just like, uh." She made a downward pinching motion at her chin, presumably picking out Siyeon's distinctive jawline. "Sharp."

"Your ideal type." She was ready for the second shove, holding her ground against Yoohyeon's weight easily.

"You can't just say things like that." But Yoohyeon's frown cracked almost instantly when she looked at Yubin's straight face. "I've missed you soooo much. Come visit my cafe."

In an ideal world, she could go every day. If she were a typical high school student still, she could imagine showing up each day to chat and do her homework, even if she didn’t like coffee. "Email me the address, and I'll do my best. But we're only going to get busier, I think."

"You do what you have to do.” There was no bitterness in her voice, only understanding. “Look, aren't I cute in my uniform?" Yoohyeon pulled open her coat to show off a black polo splattered with cream tucked into a plain pair of jeans. “The height of fashion, I know.”

"Of course," she said without thinking. But Yoohyeon only scrunched her nose at the quick answer, tugging her coat tight over her outfit with an exaggerated huff. "Earning money is a struggle. At least making coffees is fun. I always wanted to try it."

"I'm sure the customers love you."

"Our Dami is always smooth, huh?" Siyeon reappeared from behind them, drinks in hand. Despite them having said no, she had three cups in the drink holder. "Mint mocha for you, and a mocha for Yoohyeon-ssi because I didn't know what you liked."

Yubin took the coffee with both hands, easing her arm out from under Yoohyeon's with regret. Yoohyeon's eyes were wide as she accepted her drink.

"Thank you so much!"

Siyeon held out a hand to Yoohyeon, palm up. "That'll be... purchasing five copies of our debut album, thank you!"

Yoohyeon looked over to Yubin with a flabbergasted face before dropping the expression with a smile. "That's the only way to get all the photocards, right? And with my new job, I'll be able to buy them myself. And I bet my parents will want a copy to support Yubin too."

Siyeon looked increasingly horrified as Yoohyeon continued to speak. "I was joking, joking-- the mocha is on me."

"She's gotta find a photocard of unnie somehow," Yubin cut in, immediately receiving groans from both girls.

"Just for that, I'm going to trade away any Dami photocards I pull."

"Trade them to my _real_ fans, you mean." Yoohyeon just shook her head as Siyeon laughed. "We're going to be really late, though, seriously."

"It was good to meet you. And see you _soon_ , Yubin." Yoohyeon glared at her like she could threaten it into existence.

"Good to meet you too. Stay safe going home!"

"Miss you," Yubin finally managed to say, far too aware of Siyeon at her elbow. "Email me!"

"Of course!"

Yubin and Siyeon watched for a moment as Yoohyeon waved enthusiastically and, after looking at her phone, dashed off down the sidewalk at a sprint.

"She's going to trip," Yubin groaned.

"What?"

But Yoohyeon managed to disappear down a side street without stumbling and she let out a sigh of relief before finally turning to follow Siyeon.

She couldn't tell if she was thrilled for the chance encounter or upset that it seemed to end so soon. Or perhaps it was both. Her legs had begun throbbing at one point, and she was grateful for her mocha both to warm her up, but also serve as a distraction.

"I wish we could play games with Yoohyeon-ssi. It'd be fun."

"I don't usually play games."

"I know that. But we could teach you to play too. You'd play with Siyeonnie and Yoohyeonnie, right?"

Yubin just rolled her eyes at the aegyo. "I usually just watch when she plays."

"Party pooper." Siyeon nudged her with a shoulder. Unfortunately, Yubin hadn't been prepared for the shove this time and stumbled, wincing at the extra impact jolting up from her feet. "Oh my god-- are you okay? I didn't think I pushed you that hard."

Yubin just shook her head, flicking away the drops of mocha that had spilled onto her hand. But her legs protested when she tried to fall back into step. She sighed. No matter how many times she tried to be rational, her heart refused to listen to sense when it came to Yoohyeon.

"Here, come over here." Siyeon pulled her, perhaps a bit too fast in her worry, to a bench. "We can sit here for a bit. Is it, the uh--" The older girl's eyes flickered downwards.

"It's stupid." Yubin resigned herself to dealing with Siyeon’s concern. At least sitting down _did_ feel better. “I thought they’d stop growing like this.”

"You know, I read that it’s an evolutionary advantage."

"What."

"The plant's growth gives more motivation to find a partner to reproduce... or something." Siyeon frowned. "I don't remember exactly. I didn't read the research or anything. Just one article."

Yubin turned to her. "You realize that that is maybe... the least relevant fact. On multiple levels.”

Siyeon threw up her hands. "I don't know, I just thought it was interesting when I saw it." Then, more serious, "I just wish I had some advice to offer you, as your unnie, but... Isn't it weird that you know more about love?"

"' _Know more_ '..."

"Something is more than nothing." Yubin thought that Siyeon's shrug was a touch too nonchalant. "But… _would_ it be better if you didn’t care about her?"

Yubin's gaze dropped to the cup in her hands. " _Wouldn't_ that be better though?"

"But..." There was a moment's pause as Siyeon tried to figure out what she wanted to say. "You seem to look out for her a lot. Do you think Yoohyeon be better off without you?"

"That's the thing, right?" Yubin was embarrassed to find her voice rough. "I just want to be able to be her friend and support her without... all of this." She drummed her fingers on the sides of her mostly empty cup. "I'm trying my best."

“But what if she…”

“She doesn’t.” Yubin didn’t say this out of a lack of self-confidence, but from facts.

The one thing she _didn’t_ know for certain was if Yoohyeon liked girls or not. When Yoohyeon described her type, she’d describe a strong jawline, powerful eyes, or someone who worked hard towards their goals. She’d only say “a person” or “someone”. Yubin never asked further because, if Yoohyeon asked her in return, she wasn’t sure that she should answer. But even once she’d finally forced herself to admit Yoohyeon would never like her in that way, it gave her hope that if she ever were able to come out to Yoohyeon, her friend would accept it easily.

But Yubin’s soft face and round eyes were the opposite of what Yoohyeon found attractive. It was even more stark when next to Siyeon who was the epitome of the description, the elegant lines of her face giving off the impression of a wolf even when she was laughing with glee. Yubin wouldn’t be surprised if she heard more about the older girl from Yoohyeon in her next email.

“But—”

“Please don’t.” She’d spent enough time arguing with herself on the topic. It’d be worse to rehash the same things, only this time having to argue against what she wished could be true. She stood up. “I’m good to walk again.”

The pain was the same as ever, but she wouldn’t have sat down in the first place without Siyeon’s insistence. Siyeon followed her lead, but her lips were pressed together in a tight line. To Yubin’s surprise, she hooked her arm around Yubin’s, doing her best to try to take some of Yubin’s weight. She decided she’d allow it since she wanted to get home as quickly as possible.

“You know…” Siyeon started slowly. “I’m not very good at being comforting, but I’m always willing to listen if you need it.”

“So when we get scolded, are you going to tell unnie that it was your fault?”

At first Siyeon looked confused at the topic change, but then she grinned. “Of course not—I’m too scared. I bought your coffee, so we can split the blame.”

“Fine, fine.”

The joke managed to break the heavy atmosphere, and they returned back to the dorm to receive the expected lecture from Minji in higher spirits, even when they both received a month’s worth of bathroom cleaning duties each. It was worth it.


End file.
